FreeTheBirds

I’m just a girl, sitting here writing about a boy.

I used to be in a relationship where I was completely in denial about my happiness. I was settling for someone who I found a small amount of comfort in, and nothing else. I forced emotion most days, and told myself he was what I wanted. I knew deep down he wasn’t. I shoved that feeling so far down most days, but mostly I didn’t want to go through the whole process of getting to know someone all over again, just to get hurt. I had security in this guy. We dated for 3 years. Then, I couldn’t hold that feeling down anymore and I finally took a stand to him and ended it. I finally realized it may have ended at that moment, but it was over a long time ago. This only had me feeling lonely all over again. However, I slowly grew content with the fact I was alone. I went on dates, sure, but they were empty and I felt nothing. I was losing hope in finding a guy, I honestly didn’t even care.

It all started one day… I sparked up conversation with someone I had never met, we were friends on Facebook for a while and had several friends in common so I was thinking there had to be something we could create small talk with.This turned into him asking me if I wanted to see ‘The Woman in Black’ movie later that week. I was nervous.. I’d never met this guy before and I wasn’t sure what to expect. We met at the theater, this sounds cliche, but the second we laid eyes on one another… some feeling inside of me flew out of my chest and sank to my stomach. He was so handsome and oh boy was I stupidly nervous for just seeing a movie with some guy I didn’t know. This movie was a jumpy one for sure, and since he had seen it already he laughed every time I flinched at a stupid ghost movement. AH, his laugh… it was the first thing I fell for instantly. I knew he wasn’t just some guy.

It was FREEZING outside, so we decided to get Starbucks. We talked openly about things most people definitely don’t talk about on first dates, but it didn’t scare me away, it just felt right. This turned into sitting in his car until 7am. Oh man we talked about EVERYTHING. We couldn’t find one thing that we didn’t have in common. From playing video games, collecting comics, and loving Pokemon to eating the same hot sauce on everything, music, and crazy reminiscing of our dreams; yet somehow we both have an awful general sense of memories. I could probably go on and on for quite some time listing all the commonalities we share. Yet I STILL couldn’t get enough of this guy, We went home, slept for about 5 hours, then met again at his apartment the very same day. That was the start the something I’ll never forget.

It’s those little things in life that I grow so very fond of. Those moments when you meet somebody for the first time, when you can say anything you want and they would believe every word you say. When you act so innocent to the world around you, being so coy to this complete stranger you know nothing about. These are the things I’ll never forget. This memory of us is one I’ll cherish forever. I know he would do something outrageous just to prove how he feels about me. Fly to France to pick up some random thing I mentioned I wanted one time in small conversation and then show up unexpected just to give it to me. And yet it’s when he tells me I’m beautiful first thing every morning that gets to me the MOST. He reminds me every day that I’m so lucky to have something that all my exes told me DOESN’T exist. I knew they were all wrong.

I AM incredibly lucky to find someone like him. I want to tell him every day that I can’t believe I’ve finally found the man of my dreams. I know deep down hes the one for me. Honestly, I want to tell the world how I feel and I don’t care for a second what anybody thinks about it. I’ve been in a lot of relationships and know how most people act. Not one of those relationships even remotely live up to this one. I’m starting to ramble but seriously… I just wanted to get all of this off my chest. I doubt many will read this, I don’t care.

I’m just so happy.